On this page I have collected some

miscellaneous errata, for your

reading (non)pleasure

I won the Utter Wonder Bad Sonnet Smackdown

A STORY ABOUT A WAR BETWEEN PASTRIES AND SCALLOPS THAT ALMOST HAPPENED, BUT THAT ULTIMATELY DID NOT QUITE HAPPEN, a very long story that I can't imagine anyone would ever want to publish

MOBY SHTICK, a little journalistic piece that was inspired by my experience watching a fundraiser that Moby put on for John Kerry.  Neither Salon nor Rolling Stone saw fit even to respond to my submission of this story.  Fuckers.

DR. KATZ SCRIPT, my attempt to write an episode on spec for the old Dr. Katz animated show.  Wrote this in 1997 before I realized that Katz writes his own damned scripts.

ARRIVEDERCI, LOSER EXCERPTS.  Between 1998 and 2000 I wrote a "novel" called Arrivederci, Loser.  This novel is quite flawed.  For example, the novel is very, very bad.  Also, it is quite terrible.  And it sucks.  Here are a few of the more palatable excerpts.

---Chapter 3 Excerpt.  The scene where Mumford and Zatwig first talk to Enrique, the 3 foot high blueberry muffin that suddenly shows up in their apartment.

---Chapter 6 Excerpt.  The scene where Zatwig, trying to work on a paper about Chinese philosophy, gets mad because Mumford and the muffin are making too much noise.

---Epilogue.  A scene that takes places 27 years after the events of the novel, where C.W. Wim, the milkman, comes face to face with an apparition from the past.