Sadly, some of these links are dead.  All the more reason, really, why someone should publish my short story collection "Objection!  Stories About Lawyers and Non-lawyers"

Henry Clay Will Solve Our Problems (January 2010, on McSweeney's)

Queens of the Scatalogical Age (September 2009, on The Morning News) (opinion piece about upcoming Thurber Prize award for American humor).

The Confirmation Hearing of Sonia Sotomayor, if the Hearing Were Held in Front of the 1977 Kansas City Royals Instead of the Senate Judiciary Committee (July 2009, on McSweeney's)

The Advisor (May 2009, in print in Monkeybicycle #6)

The Nunnery (October 2008, on Monkeybicycle)

Sister Pact: A Bostonian Living in Europe Goes to Padua (September 2008, on Beacon Broadside)

The Adventures of Ed Tuttle, Associate Justice (July 2008, in print in Barrelhouse #6)

Family Film Guide for the Week Beginning July 6, 2008 (July 2008 on Yankee Pot Roast)

Failures in Live Blogging (March 2008, on Yankee Pot Roast)

The Sound of Silence, Supreme Court Style (March 2008, on Beacon Broadside)

Correspondences Between TV Characters and Sets Containing A Specified Number of Items (December 2007, on McSweeney's)

Embedded (November 2007, in print in The Duck & Herring Pocket Field Guide, Cold Weather 2007-2008)

Laugh Track II--Still Laughin! (in the Yale Law Journal Pocket Part, November 2007)

My First Boob (October 2007, in print in Opium #5) (finalist in Opium's 500-word memoir contest) (Sound File)

Responses to Recurrent Critiques of my Toothbrush of the Month Club Idea (November 2006, on McSweeney's)

Reflections on the Distressed Fruit Series, Circa 1952 (October 2006, on Pindeldyboz)

E=mc³ (October 2006, in Opium.print 3, available here) (Sound File) (reprinted in The &Now Awards: The Best Innovative Writing, published by Lake Forest University Press).

The Joy of Shopping For Odds and Ends (August 2006, on Opium) (finalist in Night Train's 50/50 Firebox Fiction contest) (Sound File)

Document 56 (December 2005, in Snow Monkey #17) (Sound File)

Three Screams (November 2005, on Monkeybicycle)

Laugh Track (October 2005, in The Green Bag)

Eenie Meenie (August 2005, in Gator Springs Gazette #4)

Mary Ann's Forks (June 2005, on Dicey Brown) (Sound File)

Methodology (June 2005, in Cellar Door #3)

You are Not Tu Fu (April 2005, in Ink Pot #6) (Sound File)

The Linear Apartment (February 2005, in Bullfight #2) (Sound File)

Lundy Man (January 2005, on Defenestration) (nominated for Story South's Million Writer's Award)

In the Trunk (November 2004, on Hobart)

Eyes Like Kumquats, Lips Like a Cocked Gun  (July 2004, on Monkeybicycle)

Champagne  (July 2004, on Eyeshot)

Pandora’s Lockbox (May 2004, on Facsimilation) (Sound File)

What Do You Like Best About Me? (May 2004, on Defenestration) (Sound File)

 A Comparison of Deng Xiaoping and John Travolta, Written on the Eve of Deng Xiaoping's Death in 1997 and Rejected Soon Thereafter by the Now Defunct Spy Magazine (May 2004, on über)

Croquet, Okay (April 2004, on Word Riot)

Family Film Guide (March 2004, on Yankee Pot Roast) 

Lunch Beans (March 2004, on The Glut) 

Guestbook: Vermont Applebrook Inn, Lancaster Suite, January 1, 1999-May 1, 2001 (Excerpts) (Feb. 2004 on McSweeney's) 

Reasons You Should Not Place Your Foot onto the Street When a Car is Coming, Even if You are Curious About How it Would Feel if a Car Ran Over Your Foot (Feb. 2004 on McSweeney's) 

Horn Incident Report (Feb. 2004 on Opium) (Sound File)

Deathbed (December 2003 on Pindeldyboz) 

Clamming Camp  (November 2003 on Sweet Fancy Moses) (Sound File) 

Things You Shouldn’t Substitute for Whipped Cream During Food-Sex, Even if You are Out of Whipped Cream (November 2003 on McSweeney's) 

Black and White Zoo (September 2003 on Eyeshot) 

Mister Brown, Bye, Bye (January 2003 on Pindeldyboz) 

"Consume Mass Quantities: Clinton's Secret Health Plan?", Spy Magazine (January 1994, page 20) (with Rob Cox)